Words and Music by Eg

I wrote this song in 2010 as an homage to sponsorship and the four great sponsors that I have had throughout my recovery (Joe M., Hellen K., Auggie G.  & Rick O.).  I tried to stay impressionistic enough with the lyrics that, if looked at with the right kind of squint, could also be seen as a love song.   It has been fun to watch this song grow up.  Lisa and I butchered this song before we brought Danny on board to help us with the crafting of the harmonies.  He added that miraculous little vocal tag that completely makes the whole song:  “I believe in you believe in me.”  That is the whole nut right there.

When I wrote about Crawling, I discussed Henri Nouwen’s book  The Return of the Prodigal Son and what a huge impact this had upon my recovery and my life.  Nouwen, in this book, talks about the final phase of spiritual maturation is when we become “The Father,”  welcoming home other prodigal children.  That is message that I have attempted to convey with the lyrics of this song as it evolves from first to second person.  We have a saying in recovery that is a maxim for maintaining quality of life while recovering from the disease of addition.  This maxim is:  You have to give it away to keep it.  I Believe is about, in my opinion, the most important service we ever perform in our recovery and that is sponsorship.  My life has been saved countless times by my sponsors throughout my recovery.  They have sat with me when I was suicidal.  They have comforted me through breakups.  Helen once kidnapped me and took me to Busch Gardens to ride roller coasters on my birthday.  I have been given so much more than I can ever repay but that does not stop me from trying.  I love working through The Steps with my sponsees.  I love watching them grow and change and become responsible, productive members of our community.  It is this spirit that I have tried to bottle in I Believe.

I like very much how Gary, on his acoustic guitar, was able to interpret the little C thing that is the foundation for this song.  The centerpiece for this song, however, is Austin’s cello.  His solo in this song was worth every cent that I paid him for the session.  It is a beautiful 16 bars.