O Martha
Words and Music by Eg
O Martha is the “oldest” song on the record. I wrote this song in
1990, with just a little over one-year clean. I wrote it for a friend—Martha—who was had celebrated her 18th birthday and first year clean within a couple of days of each other. The evening after she picked up her 1-year medallion, she came to my apartment and confessed to me that she wanted to kill herself. We stayed up most of the night talking and drinking coffee. Her suicidal urges and ideation passed and she found some strength to carry on. I was profoundly affected by both how she could be suicidal at a time of such accomplishment and also that I was clearly used by HP to be an instrument in her healing and survival. The next day was a Saturday and I sat out my deck and wrote this song.
This song has gone through several stages of development, becoming more and more the song it was supposed to be. In 2008, I recorded an acoustic version with Adam Fox at the International Academy of Design and Technology in Tampa. He engineered this very cool front-end compression that made the guitar and vocals really hot. I sent this version to Danny and told him to work out a harmony part for the song. He came up with this Birds-esque thing that, when I listened to it the first time, I did NOT like. I thought he had ruined one of my favorite songs. I was torn about whether to tell him that I thought he had dealt a mortal blow to Martha or just go ahead with the song without his harmonies. But I continued to listen to the harmony parts that he created. And they somehow kept getting better. Today, I could not even think about this song without those swooping harmonies. It was just one more of the thousands of illustrations I get in my life to teach me that I DO NOT know what is best for me. Here is a recording of the old version of Martha…
MARTHA (from Grace & Grit, 2008)
Cut to June 24, 2012 at County Q studio. I play that greasy Am riff for the boys and they all nod their heads and go start
LYRICS
The crescent moon keeps pouring down confusion
Time keeps pushing us onward
There’s a dust-devil thought about ending it all
But that thought’ll keep until morning—if I still want it.
Late night walks down by the riverside
The lights of a barge headed North towards Pittsburgh
The slow steady hum of a boat against the current
Reminds me of how much we need one another—let me help you with your pain.
O Martha – aint always gonna be like this
O Martha– that work is gonna turn
O Martha—love is gonna cut you ‘fore it makes you whole (come make me whole)
The crescent moon keeps pouring down confusion
Twelve more days til its full
Sometimes at home at night all along
I get sacred, I get prideful—but it’s gonna come back around
Ten million stars and old man praying in a rocking chair
The magic of fireflies and sweet kiss of the summer air
These things I give you along with another day
One more day to learn (To learn how to love each other)
O Martha – aint always gonna be like this
O Martha– that work is gonna turn
O Martha—love is gonna cut you ‘fore it makes you whole (come make me whole)
There is a basement that pain takes me down to
This is where I learn the new way
Lying on the floor in a fetal ball
Asking “Why, why, why?” Because…Love is gonna cut ya.
Ten million stars and old man praying in a rocking chair
The magic of fireflies and sweet kiss of the summer air
These things I give you along with another day
One more day to learn (To learn how to love each other)
O Martha – aint always gonna be like this
O Martha– that work is gonna turn
O Martha—the sun’s gonna come up real soon
Its always darkest before the dawn
(One more day to learn
One more day to love).